Solo Vacations
In 2019, I was overworked, tired and sick of people. Every morning, I woke up 6 am, grabbed a cup of coffee and packed myself like a damn sardine on the C train, and spent the next 35 minutes with my face sitting under a grown mans underarm gripping the top rail. I then walked 2 blocks up 34th street dodging bodies, bikes and cars, swiped my badge into my work building and sat in sea of cubicles for next 7 hours.
After 5 years, NYC had officially gotten on my nerves. I needed space.
One day, about 2 weeks before my 29th birthday, I’d decided that was it. I’m taking a damn vacation! I sat at my desk and booked a ticket to Barbados. Scrolled over to my AirBnB app and booked a room – all within an hour. I didn’t ask anyone to come or try to plan a trip. In fact, I wanted to be alone! Far far away. And it was the best decision I’d made all year.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is disconnect.
I won’t lie, the days before leaving for Barbados I was nervous! I’d never travelled alone internationally before. What if something happens to me? What if I get lost? Or what if I look weird or get lonely? But what ended up happening was completely different.
The people of Barbados were warm & welcoming. The location of my Airbnb was directly across from Carlyle Bay (one of the major beaches). There were even two young ladies from the UK staying in another room so whenever I wanted to be adventurous or explore the city they were right there with me. And most importantly, I got to rest, swim in beautiful water and soak up that Caribbean sun. It was exactly what I needed.
Solo travel is increasing in popularity but it can be seen as a bit taboo – especially for women. This, is obviously in part due to violence and danger many women, especially Black women and WOC face everyday. But what’s often overlooked is the mental benefits to being alone.
Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely.
When you’re alone, it’s just you, your mind and your body. Studies show being alone increases empathy, productivity, mental strength, planning and getting to know yourself. Add this along with a beautiful view of clear waters, skies and nature and you could make leaps ahead of therapy.
Something about relying on yourself is empowering. When you are traveling alone, you can only count on yourself. Your brain, Will and Your MONEY – and that feels good. After getting over the initial jitters, you begin to feel more confident in your abilities and decision making. I found that I became more friendly, even! It ended up strengthening my communication skills and personality.
I remember when I landed in Barbados, I was starving! Got directions to the nearest food area from my host, walked down the shabby roads and observed my options. I settled at a small diner and made friends with the staff as they asked me why in the heck I came all the way from NYC “for de Beach” – if only they knew how priceless their beach was to me. How the sound of the ocean, replaced the sound of cars and trains and random street arguments. How I’d never in my life seen water so clear or sun so bright! They dreamed of my life in the city, while I dreamed of theirs and we shared that moment.
Obviously, as a woman you should consider your safety.
Some tips for creating a safe, enjoyable trip alone:
- Let your friends and family know your travel plans – this includes flight information, hotel/stay accommodations, when you plan on returning. I’ve even heard of women calling the US Embassy prior to their trip, to confirm they’ll be in town.
2. Do research on safety before leaving – not every country is safe, lets be clear. Doing the proper research on the “rougher” areas of the country is a good idea!
3. Don’t act like a tourist – try to remain as calm as possible. Don’t have your phone pushed in your face or out in the open. Try not to look lost.
4. Carry pepper spray – Hey, better safe than sorry.
5. MONEY — Set a strict budget and stick to it. I suggest carrying currency of 1:4 US currency, (insert country) currency. Many times, things will be cheaper when using the countries currency so it’s best to have that over US. Obviously, this will differ depending on which country you travel to. Just make sure to check beforehand, what money is accepted.
Don’t know where to go? My favorite site for impromptu trips is skyskanner.com – they have an awesome “Everywhere” option that searches for cheap flights to everywhere! Don’t know when you want to go? You can even choose “All Month” or “Cheapest Month”.
Have fun – I mean really enjoy yourself. You literally have the freedom to do whatever you want without having to “consult with the group” or depend on another persons ability to be dressed and ready to leave before 12pm (ugh). You are completely anonymous! Stay smart, stay safe & take advantage of your freedom – home will be there when you get back.
Happy Travels.